It's been a while since my last post, but I've got incredibly perfect excuses. Here's reason numero uno...my first son, Liam Andrew Malone, born May 4, 2005 at 5:36 PM. He came out perfectly...10 fingers, 10 toes, crying before he was fully into the world. In fact, our OB/GYN of 30+ years said she's "...never heard one cry before they weren't all the way out!" Needless to say, my wife pointed out that he was definitely my son since this crying was obviously an homage to the fact that his Dad is a talkative mofo.
Now, for the second excuse I haven't been blogging. I've spent 33 years of my life relatively coordinated and free of asinine injuries..UNTIL, 4 days before the birth of my first child. I have to add the extenuating circumstances that led me to be a bumbling dumbass on a Razor scooter. First of all, as I've been told, "You're not eight years old anymore." Second, getting hammered at point-blank range with a Super Soaker while negotiating loose gravel and an unfamiliar mode of transportation equals certain disaster. The result, I went right over the handle bars, bounced a couple times on the soft asphalt and broke my right-pinky finger in a bad sorta way. I've never broken a bone (or been to the ER for that matter), but I knew right away that my contorted pinky did not "look right." Now, almost four weeks later, I can semi-tolerate my son's sporadic movements when I'm holding him without wincing in pain. Still haven't changed a diaper yet, but the daily taping of my finger to immobilize it will be complete in time for around 3 more years of diaper patrol on tap. For your viewing pleasure, here's my busted pinky.
Word to the wise, if you have the option of falling and breaking something, put out your non-dominant hand first to break your fall!! It only took a painful 30 minutes to type this entry...ugh! Seacrest-Out!
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