The Wandering Mapgeek

Godly Visions?

2009-01-21T13:40:00.001-05:00

Snapped this photo arriving at church early Sunday morning back in September 2008. I was there at sunrise about 1.5 hrs prior to the first service. Needless to say, the sun shining through the fog was otherworldly and beautiful. Thankfully the camera was in the console that morning.

Food Overload

2009-01-21T13:33:00.002-05:00

If there's anything my department excels at, it is having potluck lunches. About 50-billion pounds of food in our breakroom currently. I'd say that 90% of that is currently in my stomach. It looks like the dreadmill will be fired up again tonight for the 8th straight day (new record). Looks like I'll be continuing with "Water Fest 2009" where I'm attempting to go a week with a minimal amount of pop/soda/whatever. Only two Diet Cokes in the last two days. Not bad considering I'm usually looking at around six or seven. That sound you hear is my constant sprinting to the restroom after drinking 2-liters of water. Probably TMI, but these things happen. ;-)

Halloween Dress-Up

2007-10-31T13:38:00.000-04:00

Noticed today at work that people dress according to their parental status. Case in point, every person in the office (I'd say ~90%) that have school age kids are wearing orange in some fashion, e.g., shirts, ties, scarves. If you have kids that are grown and off to college=no orange. If you don not have children=no orange as well. Either way, I'm wearing my orange proudly and can't wait to head down to Liam's Halloween parade with the daycare set in around an hour.

Facebook rocks

2007-10-26T10:09:00.001-04:00

I've become quite addicted to FaceBook lately after noticing that MySpace pages have the subtle appearance of glittering piles of crap glistening in the midday sun. Honesty, how many shiny, sparkly moving GIFs can you drop on a site??? I should update this more often methinks...

Import from LiveJournal

2007-03-28T09:24:00.001-04:00

Talk about a large load of ramblings...I recently imported 120 entries from my old LiveJournal account into Blogger. Kind of amusing to examine what was on my mind at the time the last couple of years. Hopefully this doesn't come back to embarrass me in the future. If it does, I'm sure people will point to the irony of my saying that in this post.

P.S. You'll notice a plethora of missing images from the old posts. Undoubtedly linked from my old MattandLaurie.net picture site. Question of the day, do I spend time re-linking those tonight or not? Don't hold your breath!

Checking out the Toledo Zoo

2007-03-25T21:04:00.000-04:00

Went down to Toledo with the clan today to check out the Toledo Zoo. Haven't been there in around 10 years and it's changed quite a bit. Cool thing is that since we're Detroit Zoo (which isn't in Detroit for those keeping track) members, we get the reciprocal zoo pricing which is half off. Nice exhibits there in some beautiful Gothic architecture inspired buildings. Ironically, the food court has a mid-level where you can sit behind these blue bars to emulate a caged animal pen. However, the fact-of-the-matter is that the zoo actually housed lions, tigers, and other carnivores in those pens back in the last 20's and early 30's. Mmmm...stop and smell the memories. Either way, beautiful day and we'll be back.

I Passed Eight Grade Science at Midnight! Rock On!

2006-07-31T00:10:00.001-04:00

Received this little gem from my late-night quizzing...

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Son at the Beach!

2006-07-25T20:52:00.000-04:00

Thought I'd drop this photo of Liam checking out the waves of the Great Lakes for the first time. Pic taken in South Haven, where I spent way too many of my summer days in high school. Ironically, one of the few places I've been to in the last decade that literally look exactly the same, right down to the types of houses lining the waterfront. I need to get back there more often.

Happy 7th Alex!

2006-07-24T22:22:00.000-04:00

Wow...I can't believe I've now known my step-son for over half his life. He hit the big 07 yrs young today. Tipped the measurement chart at 51 3/4 inches yesterday, a 2-inch jump since last year (still looks like 95th percentile according to the books. Highlight of the birthday had to be his new rollerblades, which made his previous ones look like ones built for a normal 4-year old's foot...which they were! All in all...a great day!

Switching ISPs

2006-07-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

Damn...it's been a loooong time since I've been on here. Now I see why I don't use AdWords or other ways to attract people to my blog...because it's never updated. Oh well, perhaps that will change now that I've registered with a new ISP which bumps me up to 50GB of webspace vs. 500 MB. Hell, the 500MB site cost me in 6 months what the new provider does for an entire year of hosting. The mantra of technology, "bigger, faster, cheaper."

Food, food, and more food...

2006-04-27T14:20:00.000-04:00

Good Lord...how can I possibly maintain (or lose) weight with a retirement/birthday/arts festival celebration luncheon every other day?? Seriously, every other day in the last two weeks we've had parties complete with desserts, free lunch (not that I'm complaining), ice cream, cake, defibrillators, etc. Glad I'm heading out of town for Grand Traverse for the IMAGIN Conference next week...pimpin' ain't easy ya herrrre?

First Haircut

2006-04-11T23:32:00.000-04:00

Took Liam into beautiful downtown Walled Lake for his ceremonial first haircut today. He pulled through pretty admirably considering how fidgety he can be at times. It was about time though since his hair was approaching redneck status with it sprouting out over the top of his ears. I was lobbying to grow it mullet-style or a nice braided tail down the back of his neck. Mom didn't approve of these suggestions.

24 Season Two Marathon Complete

2006-04-06T10:43:00.000-04:00

Just coming down off of my 24-Season 2 high. I borrowed the DVDs from a guy at work after watching season one on the DVR. Good Lord...this is one of the best shows ever to appear on television. The plot lines/twists, action, writing are all incredible. It's like a 24-hour Tom Clancy movie come to life. I think one of the reasons it's so addictive is its urgency and continuous storyline, which I think are analogous to many anime series (maybe that's why I find it appealing?). Unfortunately it was addictive to the tune of my staying up to 2 AM to watch it last night...needless to say...I...am...tired. If you do NOT watch this show you are missing out...start watching it now..."We don't have time!!!(tm)"-JB

It's Going to Cost WHAT?

2006-04-01T15:33:00.000-05:00

Man...some days I wish I knew more about car maintenance (and how cars work in general). Today would be a prime example. I'm about to head off to pay over $600 to get a battery of fluids flushed, filled, jammed up asses, etc., at the local Tuffy. The people there are great, but the amount I owe sucks. All I know is that the Bravada better drive out of the parking lot like it just rolled off the factory floor brand-friggin' new. Quickly approaching 93,000 miles so I suppose it's time for some of these "routine" procedures.

Ironically, I just paid it off one week ago. Well, it could be worse, I could be paying for the car AND the maintenance simultaneously. All I know is that I'm going to be driving that bastard until the wheels fall off. Should last a bit longer now that I'm only putting 12-13K miles on it per year (less than half the annual miles I had commuting to my previous job).

Off to sign the second mortgage...ugh...

Mmmm...tornaaaado watch

2006-03-31T16:08:00.000-05:00

First tornado watch of the year kicked out a couple hours ago. Needless to say, the WeatherGeek (tm) is pumped! Still uncertain of my fascination with tornadoes exactly. Well, I suppose it stems from the fact that Kalamazoo was hammered when on May 13th, 1980 when I was the ripe age of eight. It sounds cliche, but I can honestly recall every detail of that storm as it if were yesterday.

My Dad was totally insistent that we leave to head out to my doctor's appointment and as we walked outside the sky was black as night. I'm talking nasty, jet black ...sort of like the way the clouds loomed ominously over the cities in Independence Day. Scared the shiat out of me. However, we still had to go so off we went heading south leaving the maelstrom behind to commence its thrashing of downtown Kalamazoo. On the way back I glued my ear to the (AM-haha) radio listening to the damage report. In an instant I had a horrific vision of my neighborhood flattened with only shards of 2x4's remaining.

Thankfully the brunt of the tornado roared directly into downtown Kalamazoo and not Portage. As you can tell my memory is still a little vivid from back then, hence the reason I'm worked up enough to babble on this long!

Some relevant links about the storm:

British Royalty in Walled Lake?

2006-03-28T23:21:00.000-05:00

Happened upon this picture of Winston Churchill today and it struck me that he may have a distant relative in Walled Lake, Michigan! Yes, my humble son (pictured below at 5 months) did his best to strike a piercing Churchill gaze. I decided that it was time to sit down and have that conversation that every father must eventually have with his son...the one regaling Churchill's dominating role in the protection of Great Britain during the tyrannical Nazi regime.

Actually...I raised my voice three octaves and said..."Whoooo's daddy's wittle teething baaaby???" Then I plugged in his pacifier and scrounged for more toys.

Success...With a caveat!

2006-03-28T23:12:00.000-05:00

Apparently the blog update email works fine...but the n0Ob that I am didn't realize that they post in draft mode only. Either way, I'm fairly pumped about easier access to the blog. Could it lead to more entries??? Wait for it....waaaait for it....probably not.

Spring Fever

2006-03-27T11:59:00.000-05:00

Man...it is such a HUGE relief to see the sun for once! It will allegedly hit 70 degrees sometime this week. Which as you realize, means that it will snow next week. Friggin' Michigan weather! I don't plan on blogging about the weather often (which is a promise I'll likely break the second severe weather season approaches), but I'm attempting to test the email address for remote blogging. Hopefully this will smack my blogging initiative in the ass since I won't have any excuse if I'm near a PC with Internet access. This would've came in VERY handy out in San Diego a couple years ago when I gave a presentation. Mainly because the entire center was wireless. I'm off on a tangent, but here's a link the convention center's photo page...an amazing piece of architecture.

How I've Spent My Summer Vacation...

2005-05-28T23:30:00.001-04:00

It's been a while since my last post, but I've got incredibly perfect excuses. Here's reason numero uno...my first son, Liam Andrew Malone, born May 4, 2005 at 5:36 PM. He came out perfectly...10 fingers, 10 toes, crying before he was fully into the world. In fact, our OB/GYN of 30+ years said she's "...never heard one cry before they weren't all the way out!" Needless to say, my wife pointed out that he was definitely my son since this crying was obviously an homage to the fact that his Dad is a talkative mofo.

Now, for the second excuse I haven't been blogging. I've spent 33 years of my life relatively coordinated and free of asinine injuries..UNTIL, 4 days before the birth of my first child. I have to add the extenuating circumstances that led me to be a bumbling dumbass on a Razor scooter. First of all, as I've been told, "You're not eight years old anymore." Second, getting hammered at point-blank range with a Super Soaker while negotiating loose gravel and an unfamiliar mode of transportation equals certain disaster. The result, I went right over the handle bars, bounced a couple times on the soft asphalt and broke my right-pinky finger in a bad sorta way. I've never broken a bone (or been to the ER for that matter), but I knew right away that my contorted pinky did not "look right." Now, almost four weeks later, I can semi-tolerate my son's sporadic movements when I'm holding him without wincing in pain. Still haven't changed a diaper yet, but the daily taping of my finger to immobilize it will be complete in time for around 3 more years of diaper patrol on tap. For your viewing pleasure, here's my busted pinky.

Word to the wise, if you have the option of falling and breaking something, put out your non-dominant hand first to break your fall!! It only took a painful 30 minutes to type this entry...ugh! Seacrest-Out!

Baby Name Extravaganza

2005-04-26T22:37:00.000-04:00

Here's another link for you budding parents out there (props to Chris Lim for the heads up on this site). The VERY kick ass Baby Name Voyager java app. Basically, it analyzes the popularity of baby names over the past several decades. I'm certain it pulls the data from the Social Security Administration's baby name website. But the cool Java charts have definitely pw3d the Fed's site. However, taken together these two sites are the most comprehensive I've found for name popularity rankings...and trust me, I've searched high and low my bruthas.

Updates? What are those?

2005-04-22T21:59:00.000-04:00

Holy shiat...I need to start updating this bugger. So much to type about (literally) but no time I swear! Between babies, late April winter storms, Star Wars Geekdom run amok, trust me...my topic choices runneth over. Hopefully those will come to fruition sooner rather than later...

The New Axe

2005-03-21T22:57:00.001-05:00

Finally broke down on Sunday and wandered aimlessly into the local Guitar Center to purchase my first new guitar in 15 years. Laurie bought me a nice Behringer dual-speaker amp for Christmas, which prompted me to immediately grab my shitty "Vester" guitar (what type of Kmart, off brand name is that?!) to try out the amp. Needless to say the guitar sounded like total crap if it was able to muster a good connection to the amp. I figured the amp was getting lonely sitting downstairs for three months so I had to buy a new guitar to cheer it up. I've always wanted an Ibanez guitar since my guitar heroes (read: Gods) Joe Satriani and Steve Vai swear by them. Steve Vai always had a kick-ass JEM model with SEVEN strings (when six string are not enough!). Then he could nail these piercing notes that would lock dog's heads in a permanent side tilt.

Tried out the guitar last night with my 90+ effects on the amp...holy shit did it sound sweeeeeeet. It has a chorus/reverb function that makes it sound like multiple people are playing simultaneously (or in my case, multiple people sucking simultaneously). What I wouldn't have given for a high-speed web connection back in 1991 (when all I'd ever heard of was email) to download all these great guitar tabs from Guitar Tab Universe. It's a virtual smorgasbord of power-chord heaven...but it seems like people only like to transcribe Green Day songs for some reason (read: four chords at most).

Ironically, at the Guitar Center I heard the oft-repeated strains of Stairway to Heaven wafting through the air and immediately thought of Wayne's World.

What? No Stairway??? Denied!

However, it turns out that it was only playing on the radio... but the guitar karma was so high it was unbearable.

Sweet

2005-03-21T22:29:00.000-05:00

must say...Firefox was a bad-ass browser in the first place. Now I have all these awesome extensions to try out! Of course, the ForecastFox is near and dear to my meteorological heart.

Even if you're not a techo-geek....downloading Firefox will definitely blow IE out of the water. And if you happen upon a massively Java-enabled page that gives Firefox fits...pop open IE specifically for that page. Works for me.

BTW, download the Tabbed Browsing extension as well. Rocks HARD.

/geek mode off

Month Numero Eight

2005-03-09T22:32:00.000-05:00

I realize my seldom updated blog basically revolves around the birth of my upcoming son, but shit...it's kind of a BIG DEAL don't ya think? ;-) It's quite amusing to discover my naivete everyday when it comes to children. I ceremoniously bought my first package of diapers yesterday. The purchase came after asking all sorts of inane question to my wife, aka The Experienced One (tm), e.g., "Diapers come in various sizes?" "Are there scented ones?" "Do they really go through 7 diapers a day?!?!" "Can we take out a second mortgage to pay for that pimped out stroller?" All legitimate questions I thought. After we bought half the Target baby section we decided to check out with more than $300 less than when we entered the store. However, the baby's ride and crib are pimped...fo sho.

14 Weeks

2005-01-31T20:03:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I'm going to be a true "Daddy" for the first time in 14 short weeks. True, I've been a father figure to Alex since he was just over 3 yrs-old, but this is a different situation. By different, I'm referring to witnessing the whole process from start to finish...ifyaknowwhatimsayin. :-) Actually, I couldn't be a giddier future Dad if I tried. Hell, I come by half of that hyperactive giddiness naturally, but how friggin' cool to have a child with the love of my life. (Yeah, I know..."Damn Malone...you sappy bastard.")

Actually, we're "home alone" tonight as Alex is staying the night at his Dad's place. It's amazing how quiet it gets without a child begging you to play all the time. That's probably the coolest thing about having kids...you get to play and act like a kid without getting psycho stares from other adults. It's almost like you have carte blanche to do whatever goofy kid shit you want...run up playscape slides...go sledding backwards down hills...building forts out of blankets and couch cushions...it's really quite liberating. And now I'll have the chance to do it all over again.

The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on Fiiiiire

2005-01-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

Burn baby burn...that's the theme of the night. The Deputy Fire Chief told me that they were having a "public burn" in Farmington Hills tonight that I needed to check out. As part of their training regimen that torched a 150 yr-old farm house on Farmington Road piece by piece. At first they burned out much of the interior at 6:30 and then we arrived around 7 PM for them to light up the rest of the house at 7:30 PM. We conveniently sat in our car across the road and watched them get all the units into place: 3 full-sized rigs and one ladder truck with a cherry-picker to spray from above. I thought it would be a good learning experience for Alex to see these brave, professional firefighters risking themselves for the sake of training for the real thing. Well...this was the real thing I realize, but the only danger was to the firefighters. At first they lit a fire in the living room where you could see flames beginning to lap up toward the ceiling about five minutes into the burn. Then it very scarily spread rapidly to the front entryway and blew out the glass around the periphery of the door. Suddenly, the flames shot out the front door and almost completely engulfed the overhang on the wide front porch. Alex was pretty charged up at this point from his safe vantage point across the street. Ironically, it was at this point, when the fire was at its apparent worst, is when the trainees grabbed the hoses and axes for their assault. They busted into the front door and quickly disappeared into the blaze. Almost instantaneously smoke started blasting out of the house as the hoses extinguished the flames. An occasional blast of water would burst out of the side window and careen across the neighbors lawn (who were watching quite intently I might add). All in all, it took around 2 minutes for them to knock the fire out completely.

Later on tonight they'll keep burning the house in separate drills to the point where ashes will be all that's left by midnight. Keep in mind that they were doing this on a (thankfully) clear night with light winds, but the 11 degree temps didn't help much.

Thank God for firefighters and police who put their lives on the line for us everyday....they truly are inspirational, and I'm proud to work with them as part of my job.

The March of the Pregger-Moms

2005-01-25T20:25:00.002-05:00

Took my first trip to the Baby's R' Us store this weekend in search of a new "theme" for the baby's room. Knowing that it was 1000% expected, I was still amazed by the sheer concentration of pregnant Mom's in one location. It was a happy place though, with all of the new Mom's 'oooohing' and 'aaaaahing' over the cute little boots, hats, etc. Laurie and I hooked up our little boy with the "Malawi" theme for his room. We're not going to pimp his room, even though we could deck it out with accessories such as matching tables, toyboxes, even closet door handles. Considering that babies can't see more than one-foot in front of them for their first 6 months or so...I don't think he'll refuse to sleep in a room without a matching valence.

Gotta run...the pregnant Momma is sacked out on the couch. After all, she's sleeping for two. ;-)

It Felt Like 3.5 Miles

2005-01-25T20:25:00.001-05:00

Crap.. Went running tonight in the beautifully brisk 25 degree weather (5 degrees with the incessant wind added) hoping to run around 3.5 miles. Felt really good about my speed and distance until I measured it online when I got home. Only 2.75 miles...so much for estimating. One cool thing my wife bought me for Christmas is a running pedometer. I haven't found time to attach it to my belt just yet. With all my cold weather gear and construction-worker style reflecto-vest, I've got enough to track at the moment. Running at night basically sucks ass. Especially when you factor in cold and punks that refuse to shovel their sidewalk. I'm afraid I'm going to break my ankle jumping over snow banks and puddles of slushy ice. However, even though it was less mileage than I thought... it still felt pretty good. Every second I run in the Winter helps me feel better about myself come Spring time...well...not that great. I told my wife this morning that I haven't voluntarily walked around with my shirt off since I was 16 years old. Not to mention they frown on that behavior at my new job. ;-)

The World's Richest Man

2005-01-25T20:24:00.001-05:00

Holy CRAP! Found this photo of Mr. William Gates from a 1983/84 Teen Beat photo shoot. Hey laaaadies....if only you found it in yourselves to love a techno-geek at that point in his career. Enjoy the sexiness!!!
P.S. Coincidence that the PC in the background looks like it has the first official photo of the Blue Screen of Death (c)???

P.S.S. Yes, that is a Macintosh in the back right corner.

Best of Two Blogging Worlds

2005-01-25T20:23:00.000-05:00

I've decided to keep posting to LiveJournal after discovering the awesome-ness that is the

W.Bloggar

! I can simply copy and paste my blog entries to my main blog at mattandlaurie.net/mapgeek to the LiveJournal account from the same interface. It's the f'ing r0Xor!!!

Cluster Bleep at Work

2005-01-25T20:18:00.000-05:00

Thank God for CD-ROMs. Today I was setting up for my first big GIS User Group Meeting at my new job. Went down to set up the conference room and it was jacked due to the weekly Euchre tournament (yes, they play Euchre every Tuesday at noon...quite popular actually). The chairs and table were strewn about with nary a network jack in site. Finally found the data jack up in front of the room and plugged into the network. Did I have any network activity? Nope...nada...zilch. Tried the other port...same thing.

Getting a little paranoid at this point, so I ran up to my office and asked around for a floppy disk to copy my Powerpoint presentation. Sprinted back down to the room (it was now 5 minutes before my meeting), and five steps away from the laptop realized, "...this laptop doesn't have a floppy drive!" Dashed back to my office again, grabbed a CD, burned my whopping 150KB presentation (what the hell...blank CDs cost a fraction of a cent), and arrived late for my own meeting. Nice form huh? Wanted to hide under the table for a second, but the meeting went well. The first one's always a little nerve-wracking I suppose. New group of people, new surroundings. Overall, after a month at the beautiful City of Farmington Hills, I definitely love the challenge of my new job. The people I work with are awesome as well... I think they're cooler every day than the day before. :-)

The Quad-fecta

2005-01-13T22:01:00.002-05:00

It's been quite a while since my last entry, but God knows I've been busy. Needless to say, 2004 was a banner year when it came to voluntary stressors. In fact, I think that I completed the quad-fecta of stressful events that you can purposely bring on oneself. Namely:

Moved into a house in April; helped get it in sale condition; sold it; moved tons of crap to storage; lived in hotel for one month; then moved into new house in July.

Got married on August 21st

Managed to get my wife pregnant with our first child simultaneously. Sorry...no links...perverts. ;-)

Decided that the above three items weren't life-changing enough...decided to leave my job of four years(website still shows me working there) and start a new job in late December

Wrote blog on January 13, 2005 to introspectively inquire, "What the HELL was I thinking?!"

Another thing I need to be working on that is low priority is to switch all these entries to my WordPress blog on mattandlaurie.net. I've heard rumblings that LiveJournal may be purchased by another company. Time to grab the WordPress site and RFTM. Thankfully, I have the free Horde email account working with my new email address. I must say that Horde's web email interface is extremely kick ass and user-friendly. Daddy likes...

The other day I heard that 7% of adult Web users maintain an online blog or journal. Hell, even though I've only been at this for one year, I'm still ahead of the curve...YES! Bah..I know people that have been blogging for 3 years now...they are the real trendsetters...e.g., Hywell.org

Here's hoping 2005 will be a cakewalk! This blog is sponsored by the two (and soon three!) people that make everything in life worthwhile. :)

Hot Ballllls of Fire!

2004-12-09T12:47:00.001-05:00

Ahh...another slow news day, another story about how laptops can heat your nuts to the point where you're practically infertile. Does this mean that there will be less engineering/scientist offspring in the next few decades?

P.S. This article is the first, and hopefully last time I see the phrase "scrotal hyperthermia" uttered by the media.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation--Part One

2004-12-02T00:58:00.001-05:00

I'm only 4 months late with these pics, but I re-discovered them on my hard drive tonight...slapped myself on the head...and decided to post away! Anyway, when I was out in San Diego for the ESRI Conference, my best friend Jason decided to hook me up with an afternoon of (as he put it), "Land, air, and sea adventures." He was NOT kidding around! These pics are from our first jaunt around (and above) southern California. You can easily identify me...I'm the short dork with glasses.... ;-)

The first trip was to the Palomar Regional Airport where we rode in a restored 1929 biplane (built 3 months BEFORE the stock market crash...thank God!). We're talking, two people crammed in the front...open air...goggles...the whole nine yards. We cruised around for around 45 minutes above the mansions of Rancho Santa Fe and inland towards the mountains. We flew at around 3,500 feet most of the time, and even performed a couple of small dives and breaks to the right...which felt just like a roller coaster...SUPER smooth in a biplane due to the airflow over two sets of wings.

Stay tuned over the next week or so (depending on if I stay up until 1 AM like I am now...alarm rings in 5 hours) to see the "Land" and "Sea" portion of my trip!

And I'll close with these immortal words, "If the pigs try to get at you...park it like it's hot...park it like it's hot..."

The Silence of the Squirrels.

2004-08-31T11:24:00.000-04:00

In the latest issue of the journal Nature, researchers have shown that ground squirrels have the ability to scream at each other in an ultrasonic frequency. The frequency is not audible to human ears as well as to the main predators of squirrels-birds. The "warning" tone is similar to the ultrasonic waves bats use to bounce off insects for feeding and navigation known as echolocation. I suppose I'm fortunate since I often hear the squirrels VERY audibly squealing at each other in the trees outside my bedroom window most mornings. At least they're not shattering my windows with an ultrasonic blast.

Play Ball!

2004-08-12T16:00:00.001-04:00

Here's the rather subtle view of the San Diego Padre's new home, Petco Park, from my hotel room at the conference. When we registered at the front desk I pulled one of my patented (albeit not original), "This is the first time we've been to San Diego, can we get a great view!?" It worked! We were hooked up in a room on the corner with two enormous windows on each wall. When we arrived on Sunday afternoon, the Pittsburgh Pirates were in town warming up for the 1:30 afternoon game. Unfortunately no night games this week...or perhaps "fortunately" since the lights would flood our room like searchlights. I'm not complaining though...the room rocks (not literally) in a huge way.

San Diego Stupidity

2004-08-11T21:40:00.000-04:00

The absolutely perfect weather in San Diego has apparently made me dumb and deaf. Robbie and I were walking back along the Embarcadero from Seaport Village tonight after eating an overpriced burger and taking in the fascinating people-watching....but I digress. Anyway, we were walking back and we heard some live tunes rising up from Embarcadero Park which sounded like some amateur night for country karaoke. The particular song at the time was Martina McBride's "Where Would You Be?" I commented to Robbie when the singer hit a crappy sounding note, "Man! That sounded a little flat...is this American Idol Amateur Night?" It was even funnier when we read the event guide at the hotel 10 minutes later that showed (you guessed it), "Tuesday, August 10th, Martina McBride LIVE in Embarcadero Park." Ummm...my bad Martina.

The Slow Return to Sanity...Temporarily

2004-08-04T21:43:00.001-04:00

Hallelujah, we are in...the...house! The utilities all seem to be in working order (including Comcast and their f'ing expensive cable modems. We tried to hook up with Yahoo DSL, but SBC gave us the run around for about a week, so we dumped them like a ton of bricks. Yep, the everything is slowly but surely returning to normal. Well, as normal as it can be to have a garage so chock full of boxes that parking a Yugo would feel cramped if not impossible. It appears that The Worst (tm) is over. The Worst being the 24 agonizingly long days in the Chateau de Extended Stay America. The house feels like a fricking castle comparatively. Not to mention we've tried out Laurie's guilty pleasure...the sprinkler system. Damn...that shiat is AWESOME! No more dragging kinked, skanky and dirt-infested hoses around the lawn. Holy crap, this classifies us as Yuppies doesn't it?! Crap. Oh well, the 80's stuff is back in style so hopefully I can dust off the 20 year old Izod golf shirt and suddenly look all Abercrombied up again? ;-)

The next few weeks will get downright nutty again. Wedding bells are chiming 2.5 weeks from today and I'm going to San Diego for a week-long conference next week. When I get back Alex will be gone for a week with his Dad, returning home a day or two before the wedding. I hope he's well rested cuz weddings take a lot out of adults, let alone 5 yr-olds.

Looking forward to filling this thing up with random ramblings now that I'm finally HOME! :-)

Three More Days

2004-07-20T08:27:00.000-04:00

I apologize to "all" (haha...that makes it sound like a ton!) of the bloggers on my "Friends" list that have been anxiously awaiting my last entry. Ummm...suuuuure. I've been incredibly busy with work and getting ready to move to the new house. Only three more agonizing days left in the Chateau de Extended Stay America. And not a moment too soon...last night we discovered that you can run back and forth and stomp on the floor like a retarded horse to keep your neighbors awake. I rolled over and rubbed my eyes to glance at the clock that glared back "1:30 AM" in annoyingly bright red numbers. Needless to say, I about pulled the cliched find-something-like-a-broom-to-smack-the-ceiling-to-tell-them-to-shut-the-fark-up move. However, that would end up waking up the 5 yr-old who was also trying to sleep. Ugh...people...who needs 'em?! ;-)

What else to write about? I'll have a lot more to write once I get into the new house and get hooked back up online. Until then the entries will be very few and far between. I did get a new ass-kicking washing machine though!!! Yes, that has actually been a highlight. When you live in a hotel for 3 straight weeks, everything in life is more exciting. You should all try it! Actually, fark that...enjoy your home/apartment/condo/flat/studio.

All Closed Out and Nowhere to Live

2004-07-08T09:41:00.001-04:00

Well, the house stuff is finally over! *siiiiiigh*...it takes a lot out of you to move everything you've ever owned into a 10' x 40' storage space. We closed on the old house last Thursday and closed on the new one on Tuesday. Now we get to live gloriously in the Extended Stay America for up to the next 30 days. I suppose my subject line is misleading in that sense since we're not technically homeless. But *man* are we counting the days until we get into our new home! When I tell people I'm living in a hotel they exclaim, "Cool! You get to have room service and use the pool whenever you want!" Ummm...nope. Not in this hotel. These ones are very clean but no-frills in terms of amenities. It's basically a glorified 3-story dorm with extra pillows on request. Each room has a full-size kitchenette complete with full-size fridge, 2-burner electric stove, microwave and sink. We figured we'd save quite a bit of money by eating in versus out every night. So far that arrangement has worked out very well. The most trying part though is the fact that we have to go to bed at the same time as a 5 yr-old, which in Alex's case is around 9:30 PM. I typically stayed up until 11 PM at a minimum at the old house, so the extra sleep is great but the day seems even more compressed considering I don't arrive "home" until around 6-6:30. BUT, we only have to live there until around July 27th when the owners (or technically now-renters) vacate our new home. Hell, we even have the movers lined up for that day in anticipation.

Lemme tell you...living in this place is tantamount to shacking up in a high-rent trailer park...if such a thing exists. I'm not trying to be stuck-up, but there's a TON of trashy people living next to us. The other morning this lady down the hall was screaming bloody murder at her kid for not brushing their teeth. You could hear her throughout the hall even with the doors closed. Never mind the broken beer bottle near our car the other day which Alex about stepped in as he hopped out of his car seat. Sorry, I'm not used to him stepping onto shards of glass. Ugh. Laurie told the front desk about the glass and they practically rolled their eyes as they gave her a pat "We'll take care of it" response. They didn't that night but it was gone yesterday afternoon. Laurie and Alex were also startled yesterday morning by a mangy looking dog running around in the parking lot. Unfortunately (as much as I love dogs), Extended Stay began allowing dogs to stay as of July 1, 2004...great timing by us (we moved in June 30th). Hell, you can even have large dogs at "the discretion of the manager." Yeah, I really want pit bulls to greet me as I walk down the hall. FORTUNATELY, it's been sorta quiet at night...no partiers anywhere around. Oh, did I mention that even though we're on a non-smoking floor, the ventilation system siphons smoke down so it smells like someone is lighting up in our bathroom? Nah, I've got nothing to bitch about today do I??

Well, at least I was right a few entries back when I said that living in a hotel would provide better blog material (or does it?). I'll drop an entry about the moving out experience later.

Getting old....

2004-06-18T08:35:00.001-04:00

Man, getting older is starting to suck. Your body starts realizing this fact around 32 yrs, 10 months and 24 days methinks. I've never in my life had allergy/sinus problems (at least that's what I think they are) until the past week. Persistent pain in the front of my head, my balance seems f'ed, and I get dizzy from time to time. The paranoid in me thinks:

It's not a TU-MOR!" "
...but I'm guessing it's not that horrific. Bottom line: it sucks...and being around me kinda sucks too since I'm not my annoyfully cheerful self. I'm one of those people that starts talking the second their eyes open in the morning (much to Laurie's chagrin). Now I'm talking at warp factor 4 versus 9.9. Did I mention that I talk hyper-fast as well...to the point where I have to repeat myself occasionally. I'm going to be very entertaining in the nursing home when I'm 95 yrs old....the nurses might try some Kevorkian-shit on my geriatric ass.

19 Days...

2004-06-14T10:01:00.001-04:00

Only 19 days (that felt like 6 months) until SOLD was slapped on our For Sale sign...

We were told that houses in our area averaged around 35 days to sell since the area is very popular. Hell, we technically could've signed a purchase agreement on the fifth day but we rejected the offer. A total of 8 couples walked through the house with two offers extended. Ironically, the price offered was the same both times, but the first couple wanted us out this Thursday..ummm...not gunnna do it. As it stands now we'll close on the old house on July 2nd and the new house on July 6th. Translated: we have to have all our stuff moved into storage for as much as one month as our new home's owners get out before July 30th.

The optimist in me says, "Well, staying at a hotel for a month will provide for more interesting blog stories." :-) More to come....

How You Be Livin'?

2004-05-27T23:31:00.000-04:00

I can proudly announce that half of the house-hunting question has been successfully completed. Namely, we signed a purchase agreement for a new house on Tuesday afternoon!!! Let me first explain the craziness that has enveloped us since we put the house on the market on May 18th.

The gaudy Remerica sign with our Realtor's mug was driven into the ground that afternoon. Our house was finally listed with the MLS (Multiple Listing Service) and we were told that an MLS rep would come out and take a picture of our house for the website. Wednesday was uneventful as we figured it would be as our house propagated out to the various real estate websites. Then on Thursday...our 1st customer! Someone walked through the house that night for the first time. We were pumped that it only took one full day before a couple requested a walkthrough. We sighed a sigh of collective relief when we realized that our struggles to get the house into sale condition (painting the garage, basement walls...not fun) were paying off.

Then the situation spun into a dizzying flurry of activity. People walked through our house Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights...four nights and four different walkthroughs. Saturday night we received a call from our Realtor who said that our 2nd walkthrough couple wanted to make an offer! We about shiat ourselves because we didn't have a new home lined up (more on that later). The Realtor said that "the deal was a good one" and that the couple didn't want us to host an open house on Sunday. We bided our time on pins and needles waiting for the offer to come across. Turns out that it WAS a good offer in terms of asking price...they only wanted $4,900 less than the list price! Woo hoo!

BUT...There always has to be a but...

They wanted us out of our house by June 17th and they wanted their answer by 10:30 AM Sunday morning...

And it was currently 9:15 AM....Sunday morning...

We were simultaneously elated and downright pissed off about the offer. What a great offer in terms of $$$...but how SHITTY of them to say we have to be out in less than a month! After much, much, MUCH contemplation, we decided that just because these people signed a deal saying they had to be out of their home by June 17th, it didn't mean that we had to kowtow to their demands. We then swallowed hard, sighed, and gave our Realtor a call and said, "If they can move in on July 15th (the date of the house WE were looking at) we'll take the deal. Otherwise...sorry." Their Realtor never called back after hearing our "demands."

Having this early stroke of luck and the sheer number of showings prompted us to get our arses in gear to find a house before we sold ours out from under us. I had to suddenly ask for a vacation day Monday afternoon to look at 8 more houses in Farmington Hills and Walled Lake. Our Realtor Joan, who I must say...is a TRUE ass-kicker of a Realtor (check out her Notepad website at www.dawkins.com), lined up the homes for another whirlwind tour. Many of the homes that afternoon sucked ass (<--technical Realtor term), but we happened upon one Sunday night that dropped our jaw...we had to look at it first.... We knew right there and then...."We MUST have this house!"

The 7 other homes we looked at that day didn't hold a candle to the one in Walled Lake...even pretentious Farmington Hills homes weren't as impressive in our minds. The house truly has all the things I've ever wanted in a home....plus some little extras that weren't requirements, but just served as icing on the cake.

The house is located in a quiet cul-de-sac curve in quaint Walled Lake...about 45 minutes from my office (better than 1 hr 5 mins one-way). Thankfully the developer of the site decided to keep the several 100-foot oak trees that shade the entire house. We walked into the backyard and heard the calming sounds of the wind whistling carelessly through the leaves...it was a beautiful noise. The builder went the extra mile to build the backyard deck around one of the tree trunks! You see this massive tree jutting out of the deck as if it sprouted up overnight. Very cool indeed.

As for dimensions, style, etc....the house is a 4-bedroom, 2.5 bath Colonial on a small lot with the amenities we've always wanted.

Finished basement-check

Two-car garage-check

Central air-check

Close to schools (elementary, middle AND high schools within one mile)-TRIPLE check!

Playscapes spotted in neighboring yards to indicate playpals for Alex-check

Sprinkler system-Laurie's bonus check!

Living area conducive to a massive surround-sound system with 500-watt subwoofer and 60" dream TV-Matt's bonus check!

Yepper...it's the house I've always wanted...and it's mine! We close around July 1st and we'll be moved in by the Birthday Week (Alex-July 24th, Laurie-28th, and mine on the 29th). I could write more about the drama surrounding another couple trying to get their offer to the Realtor before we did...but it gives me stomach pains. Suffice it to say...we almost went into a bidding war, but our offer hit their kitchen table first...and they signed it!

The Nexus of Snacks and Useless Information.

2004-05-20T10:04:00.001-04:00

I've finally found a way to slow down my typical inhalation of chips thanks to Pringles' new product. Now I can increase my amount of useless trivia with every salt-numbing bite. (Side note: When I was a kid I would eat Pringles so rapidly that my bottom lip would become numb from the salt..."Pringle Lip" as it was coined.) In the never ending quest to combine snack foods and trivia (WTF???) there are now Trivial Pursuit Q&A's printed on new Pringles chips. Thankfully it'll lessen my breakneck pace as I'll want to read every one of them. I realize it's just a marketing gimmick, but you have to wonder... are we reduced to education through potato chips? Or is it proper to provide information through every source possible? Bottom line, it's a way to sell chips, gain weight, and learn "What was the decisive battle in the Pacific Theater in World War II?"

/Off to buy a pack immediately...

Sardine Cans.

2004-05-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

I had to chuckle this morning when I drove past a shiny BMW roadster during The Commute(tm) this morning. This car must be half the size of VW Bug, but I'm certain it has a 400 HP engine. Anyway, the lawyer/doctor/CEO driving it must have been 6' 4" because he looked slightly cramped. It looked as if his face was on the steering wheel and his head would have been better off with the ragtop down. Ahhh...such is the life of those who depend on flashy toys to tout their superiority to the underlings.

Sorry GhostRider-The Pattern Is Full...

2004-05-17T11:04:00.001-04:00

Ho----ly Crap! I finally got to do something this weekend that I've been waiting all my life to try. Well, at least since I was thirteen and first played Afterburner, the F-14 simulator game that I spent my allowance on for an entire summer. When I visited the new Kalamazoo Air Zoo on Saturday I didn't expect to see four full-motion F-14 simulator rides conveniently parked next to a real F-14 to make you salivate more. Needless to say, my eyes shot out of my head cartoon-style and my testosterone level shot up to dangerous levels. I had to try the simulator....NOW! The great thing is that the MaxFlight simulators as they were called, did not require any additional fee...they were included in the (rather exorbitant) $19 admission. Now I've been in wimpy little simulators before that gyrate around a bit like you're hitting an air pocket or something, but this was full motion in all directions. We're talking barrel rolls, vertical climbs, dives, flying inverted...the works.

My niece was my first passenger (read: victim) to tempt fate with me. The fate we were tempting was to discover if these things would make us lose our lunch...which wouldn't be pretty in an enclosed cockpit while inverted. The simulator itself is a video game where you can land on the USS Kitty Hawk aircraft carrier, strafe a runway, or engage in a dogfight with other fighters (computer-controlled). The ride attendant straps you in with a seatbelt, pulls down the U-shaped harness bar, makes a crappy quip about "hitting this button to order peanuts", and then seals you in for five minutes of vomit-inducing spin. Of course, the first thing I did was pull straight up on the stick to perform a full circle climb. It's amazing the pitch and volume a 14-year old girl's primal scream can generate. After that we had to head straight up and barrel-roll endlessly into the "sky." It was quite a sensation to fly upside down and hang in the harness. I actually received small seam-shaped bruises on both shoulders from hanging there too long.

If you're anywhere NEAR Kalamazoo, Michigan...you must visit if just for the simulators alone!

Poor nieces...they've never heard Top Gun quoted so many times in one day. Can't help it...I'm 100% male.

"That's right MapGeek...I AM dangerous"

And They Emerged Victorious.

2004-05-10T13:00:00.001-04:00

Alex's first T-ball game was on Saturday. Actually, it was one of several "firsts"; first baseball game, first team sporting event, first hit, etc. I can tell that I love having the little guy in my life since I never thought I'd feel this proud over watching somebody smack a ball on a tee to a waiting clan of 15 five year-olds staring catatonically towards homeplate.

It seemed like he had a great time considering some of his comments afterwards, "We winned!!!" Hehehe...tried to tell him that "won" is the appropriate term, but I didn't want to turn a victory glow into a grammar lesson (I have a way of doing that).

Flint/Beecher Tornado

2004-05-07T15:18:00.000-04:00

Coooooool...forgot about this link at the Detroit Office of the National Weather Services commemorating the 50th Anniversary of the Beecher Tornado. Videos, news footage....Cartman voice: Kiiiiiiiiiiick ass! Check it out!

T-Ball Fashion Show.

2004-05-07T08:21:00.001-04:00

Took this pic (no longer online) last night of Alex in his baseball jersey for T-ball. He typically disdains taking pictures, but he actually put his jersey back on specifically for a photo shoot. If you're wondering, that's a temporary tattoo on his right arm, which makes him look even more like a pro player (especially if he was in basketball). He had to point out when I arrived at practice yesterday that he had new cleats and "Wanna see how fast I can go??" Nothin' cuter than a bunch of wide-eyed five year-olds learning how to play baseball. I should've brought my camera to the practice. Hell, I'll probably have a video link on this site someday to showcase his mad skillllllz.

Music to my Tornado-Fetish Ears.

2004-05-06T09:50:00.001-04:00

From the Detroit/White Lake National Weather Service Forecast Discussion for today:

"THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED TO DEVELOP THIS AFTERNOON....AND MAY BECOME SEVERE. INITIALLY...THESE THUNDERSTORMS WILL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO PRODUCE HAIL UP TO ONE INCH...WIND GUSTS TO 70 MPH...AND PERHAPS AN ISOLATED TORNADO."

Sorry about the all CAPS SCREAMING, but that's how the discussions are output from the NWS. I'm not actually looking forward to a tornado in my neck o' the woods, but this weather always gets me worked up. The specter of a tornado brewing "out there" always riles me...as you could tell from my previous weather post. I've often wondered about heading out on a "Tornado Chase" vacation, like these crazy buggers here. However, near-death experiences aren't what I would classify as an "ideal" vacation. I've personally never witnessed a tornado up close and personal, but I've seen enough videos to make you puke. I'm almost a tornado-junkie in some respects. One of my best friends had a tornado sweep near their house when he was seven years old. His Mom related the story in incredible detail how they rushed to a shelter in their backyard as the storm approached. While they were running from the storm, it attempted to suck my friend towards the vortex. She desperately reached out and groped the air to avoid losing him. She neglected to mention until later that she grabbed him by his ankle because he was already floating at the shoulder-height!

Tornadoes may be fascinating, but it's extremely humbling to witness the destruction and chaos they induce in the communities they ravage. In my opinion, the only place to witness a tornado would be in a field somewhere out in the Great Plains where there are no crops, no homes, and no lives to disrupt. Then you could truly appreciate their beauty without the destruction that often accompanies them. The Flint area (just north of Grand Blanc for those new to my blog), was devastated by the only F5 tornado to ever hit Michigan back in June of 1953. The "Beecher" tornado holds the distinction of being the 9th deadliest tornado in the United States, and the last one to kill over 100 people. Needless to say, it was a monster. Here's some more info about the storm from the Flint Journal 50th Anniversary remembrance last year. BTW, there was another tornado outbreak on the day of the anniversary...including a tornado passing within miles of the Beecher path during the remembrance ceremony. Here's the storm description...the same tornado that I happened to use for the map gallery entry mentioned yesterday.

Cue Twilight Zone music

Off to duck and cover...

Description:
A tornado touched down in Camp Copneconic and produced extensive tree damage. The tornado then traveled northeast into southern Grand Blanc Township. The tornado hit Spring Oak subdivision on the north side of Baldwin Road approximately one mile east of Fenton road. The tornado completely destroyed the garage and front porches of three homes. Several homes had their garage walls destroyed. Several other homes had shingle and siding damage. The tornado continued through Aspen subdivision, where two homes sustained roof and garage damage. Several other homes in the subdivision lost shingles and siding. The tornado continued to the intersection of McWain and Pollock roads. Several homes sustained damage due to falling trees. The Michigan room on one home was destroyed. The tornado lifted just northeast of McWain road. An official storm survey conducted by the National Weather Service estimated winds between 100 and 110 mph. A strong upper level low moved across southern Michigan during the early evening of the 8th. This system triggered numerous thunderstorms across the region, some of which produced damaging winds and large hail. Three tornadoes also occurred during the evening. Commemoration ceremonies to mark the 50th anniversary of the deadliest tornado in Michigan history (one of the top ten in U.S. history) was ongoing in Beecher, north of Flint in Genesee county. Ironically, a tornado struck the southern portion of Genesee county at the same time the commemoration ceremonies were underway.

Oh...oh! Pick Me! Pick Me!

2004-05-05T13:19:00.001-04:00

Since I have nothing else to do in my spare time after work, I threw my hat into the ring to run for the Board of Directors for IMAGIN, a statewide non-profit group that promotes GIS in government and industry. The votes were counted, the hanging chads were discarded, ballots were spoiled, and I somehow came out on top! I'm now one of 12 members of the Board of Directors for a group I've been affiliated with for almost 10 years. No time like the present I suppose. Actually, I'm pretty pumped about the whole deal. They often say that it's your profession that defines who you are and guides your actions in many respects. So what better way to get involved with my profession than to try to guide the course of GIS in my home state? I'm quite humbled over the idea personally. It's not an enormous responsibility, but it still feels great to know that my voice will be heard. Don't get me wrong, politics are NOT in my future whatsoever...I'm too honest and I can't keep my mouth shut...2 strikes against me right there.

My map of "Tornado Damage" (the map topic probably doesn't surprise you if you read my entry from last week) also won 3rd place in the "Best Data Integration" category in the Map Gallery competition. I'm now 2 for 2 in winning an award in the Map Gallery...2nd place in 2002....my cartography professor would be proud!

That's all for now...kinda busy trying to catch up on work. Ciao!

Word Count Rigging=Successful!

2004-04-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

My little word rigging stunt the other day pulled off! Laurie's name now proudly sits at #9...right above #10-love (Say it with me...."Awwwwwwwww!"). Thankfully residing several stories above the former curse-word champions "shit" and "ass". ;-)

mapgeek's Word Usage

1. the (261)	26. not (23)	51. into (13)	76. he (11)
2. i (186)	27. their (23)	52. would (13)	77. will (10)
3. to (137)	28. be (22)	53. 8 (13)	78. morning (10)
4. a (108)	29. one (21)	54. it's (13)	79. people (10)
5. of (100)	30. had (21)	55. they (12)	80. know (10)
6. and (98)	31. we (20)	56. so (12)	81. day (10)
7. that (90)	32. have (20)	57. been (12)	82. i've (10)
8. in (84)	33. if (20)	58. only (12)	83. how (10)
9. laurie (78)	34. your (19)	59. don't (12)	84. apartment (9)
10. love (75)	35. or (19)	60. our (12)	85. back (9)
11. my (73)	36. time (19)	61. now (11)	86. since (9)
12. you (72)	37. up (18)	62. there (11)	87. no (9)
13. was (51)	38. do (18)	63. old (11)	88. blog (9)
14. it (51)	39. from (18)	64. 9 (11)	89. thing (9)
15. on (47)	40. when (17)	65. an (11)	90. than (9)
16. with (47)	41. about (16)	66. by (11)	91. little (9)
17. for (46)	42. but (15)	67. shit (11)	92. stuff (8)
18. me (45)	43. down (15)	68. i'm (11)	93. went (8)
19. this (36)	44. all (15)	69. new (11)	94. them (8)
20. at (33)	45. are (15)	70. off (11)	95. see (8)
21. is (32)	46. just (15)	71. his (11)	96. said (8)
22. as (30)	47. get (14)	72. ass (11)	97. much (8)
23. out (26)	48. like (14)	73. last (11)	98. over (8)
24. 7 (25)	49. some (14)	74. were (11)	99. years (8)
25. what (25)	50. first (13)	75. life (11)	100. good (8)

Severe Weather Fetish, Part One.

2004-04-29T10:51:00.002-04:00

It's getting near that time of year again....when I become an endless babbling stream of information about severe weather, tornadoes, hail, downbursts, etc. Ahhh...Spring in Michigan! People in the office probably get a little sick of me talking about weather, but for me it's not just some small-talk "ice breaker" sorta thing like most weather conversations...I really think weather (especially severe weather) is VERY cool. Add this to the little known factoid list about me: When I was in high school I contacted U of M to get documentation on their Atmospheric Science undergrad program. However, the required courses leaned extremely towards the mathematically gifted (not me). We're talking courses with nightmarish titles, "Fluid Dynamics of the Atmosphere", "Thermodynamics and Heat Transferral." My brother had just graduated from U of M and he had actually taken one of the classes for his major (Materials Engineering) and he received a "C" or something worse. Since I naturally looked up to my smarter big bro', the fact that he scored low in the class scared the bejesus out of me. I decided that perhaps a career in Meteorology wasn't in the cards. Ironically, I found out by talking with meteorologists at conferences and presentations that you don't EVER use the math after you get a real job (unless it's pure research) as a meteorologist. Grrrrr...if I only knew that then I would've sucked it up and went for it.

But I digress....

When I was 8 yrs-old the city directly to our north, Kalamazoo, was decimated by the May 13th, 1980 tornado. We were "safe" in Portage, the sprawling suburb to the south since the tornado was over 15 miles away. That didn't stop it from scaring the crap out of me when my Dad dragged me out to go to a scheduled doctor's appointment that afternoon. I honestly remember it like it was yesterday. I was downstairs watching "Star Blazers" about 2 feet from the TV (had to use the dials...no remotes)...the episode showing was the one where the Argo crashed onto Pluto on its way to Iscandar and proceeded to sink on the oceans of Pluto (still love that show). Suddenly, the tornado sirens started blaring off in the distance. There wasn't a siren in our neighborhood at the time...it went up RIGHT after the tornado of course. My Dad then stuck his head downstairs and said, "Matt, c'mon...you've got a doctor's appointment" at the very moment the sirens began their wail. Of course, I figured he'd lost his mind, especially when I went outside and the sky was solid...black. The eerie echo of sirens screaming off in the distance carried by the winds that were undoubtedly connected with the tornado gave me a very distinct chill down my spine. Here I was outside with sirens blasting and Dad told me to get in the car, and off we went. My appointment was in Vicksburg, almost 10 miles to the south of Portage, but I didn't really know that at age 8...all I knew was that there was a tornado lurking out there somewhere waiting to bounce on our red Mailbu station-wagon when we least expected. It goes without saying that I had a difficult time pissing in a cup at the doctor's office that afternoon.On the way home we listened to the AM-station describing how a tornado had literally followed the main road into downtown Kalamazoo and destroyed the city core leaving much of it resembling a war zone. The family home was safe and sound, and we decided (stupidly in hindsight) to take a gawker's trip to downtown the next day. Several people died in the storm. Most of them in an alley behind a Gilmore's store where the 7-story concrete facade was ripped down on top of them. The building resembled one of those playhouses where you can see directly into the rooms. The mannequins still stood several floors above the alley where tons of rubble buried the victims. Scary stuff for a third grader.

That's the short-story long as to how I became so enthralled with severe weather...I had seen its power and how it could destroy men and the structures they've built like so many playtoys. I was hooked.

To be continued....

Typical Michigan

2004-04-27T08:03:00.000-04:00

It's fun to hear everyone complain about the fact that it snowed this morning. Sure, it may only be LATE-APRIL...but hey...that's Michigan for ya! BTW, forecast for Thursday, Mostly Sunny, High 75-79.

Survey Says...

2004-04-26T13:08:00.000-04:00

Happened across this (apparently) old LJ survey that's been floating around for years. I typically don't acknowledge these type of surveys...but hey...you might learn something about me (for better or worse)!

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:

If you are using a different Web browser, things may not appear exactly as they do in this chapter.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?:

"Maps of the Old World: 2004 Calendar"

What is the last thing you watched on TV?:

South Park

WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:

12:50 PM

Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:

12:47 PM

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:

Random chatter from the break room down the hall.

When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:

7:45 this morning...walking into work

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?:

Canton, Michigan weather forecast on the Weather Underground

What are you wearing?:

Brown dress pants and a khaki button-down shirt...no tie thank God

Did you dream last night?:

Yepper...twice. In dream #1 I investigated a millipede outbreak on a starship. Dream #2 featured myself playing guitar in a KISS cover band with Senator Orrin Hatch on drums. (You KNOW I couldn't make that shit up!)

When did you last laugh?:

Last night watching South Park...they were shredding Michael Jackson

What is on the walls of the room you are in?:

Parcel and subdivision maps of the Township. My Masters degree and GIS Professional certificate. White board with weekly goals that remains blank since I'm too busy with other goals to write down my weekly goals

Seen anything weird lately?:

Sparks falling from atop the 200-foot water tower they're building along US-23 on my drive to work. I thought the damn thing was coming down!

What do you think of this quiz?:

Not half as thought-provoking as I had hoped

What is the last film you saw?:

Kill Bill, Vol 2. It rocked!

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:

College educations for my stepson and every niece and nephew

Tell me something about you that I don't know:

In 4th grade I was so starved to be the center of attention, I told the entire neighborhood that I had a rare form of degenerative bone cancer. The ploy lasted weeks until the concerned and saddened mothers called my Mom to express their sympathies. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall to see my Mom's face contort when she snarled, "Matthew has no SUCH THING!" (Guessing she said that at least).

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:

Wipe out every known form of cancer and AIDS

Do you like to dance?:

Only if my fiance or her son are in the room...they like to laugh

George Bush:

Sigh...don't EVEN get me started...and to think my blood pressure was low a second ago

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:

My fiance and I had bounced around the word Adrianna...VERY tentative though

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:

Anakin....jk

Would you ever consider living abroad?:

Ummm...if you consider Canada (2 hours away) "abroad."

What do you wish to be doing 1 year from now?:

Living in a house less than a 1hr 5minute one-way commute. Have my first child with my awesome wife! Related: Learn to overcome my fear of shitty diapers

Well, even though that wasn't as cool as I thought it would be, it's still your turn to fill this bugger out! Fill out your answers and drop them on you blog. Lemme know when you're done!

My Political Compass

2004-04-23T11:41:00.001-04:00

Found a very thought-provoking political test online at the Political Compass. You have to place your intellectual hat on when taking the test...the questions aren't for political and/or social novices by the way their worded. Anywho...here are my results and comparisons to other historical figures.

MapGeek's Political Compass Scores: "Economic Left/Right: -4.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.41

Until this morning I didn't fathom that I could be the next Nelson Mandela or Dalai Lama...what an honor! :-) Actually, this test surprised me in some ways. I estimated that I'd be MUCH further to the left on this chart. I've always heard that you grow more conservative as you become older. The quotes I've heard over and over regarding this right-leaning age phenomenon are:

"You learn as a Democrat, you earn as a Republican." Pfff...this quote pigeon-holes both parties unfortunately. Not all Democrats are interested in the environment, education, and social justice..and not all Republicans are obsessed with the almighty dollar and taxes.

"If you're young and conservative...you have no heart. If you're old and liberal...you have no brain." This is my paraphrasing of a quote that I've heard originated with Winston Churchill.

Take the test and score yourself! Let me know how it...or you turn out!

I'm a Total (Reformed) Snob

2004-04-22T22:15:00.000-04:00

I'm becoming a snobby prick in my old age. Case in point: finishing moving my stuff out of my apartment the last few weeks. Most of the big stuff has been moved and now I'm just snatching up the smaller items-lamps, books, etc. I've lived in that apartment for over two years and I always felt pretty good about myself while there. It's a very nice apartment, over 900 sq. feet, washer/dryer, private one-car garage with electric, etc. I remember how proud I was to first move in there in April 2002.

During the course of my divorce, somehow the deal panned out to have my ex keep the house and I had to find a place to live on my own. At the time she insisted that I watch our beagle every once in a while so I was limited to apartments that allowed pets...about 3 in the whole county at the time. Fortunately, my best friends Jason and Jen were incredibly generous and let me stay in the basement of their beautiful new house. Don't get me wrong, it was an awesome house, but it WAS a basement. Cement floors, thin walls (which we built to compartmentalize the entire place), sleeping next to the well pump which kicked on loudly every couple hours or so....it was a comfortable but sad existence. Probably the closest I've been to full-blown depression in my life.

Moving into that apartment provided me with a new perspective on life. I was divorced and semi-broke. My ex insisted that she receive our paid-off Lumina while I had to shoulder the burden of a $600 month new car payment. She must've felt that it was my "penalty" for the fact that I happened to earn more per year than her...poor her! :-( (Yepper..I'm a little bitter)

Now that my move to Canton is almost complete, I noticed that the vacant apartments in my building are beginning to fill up for the first time in over a year. Directly adjacent to my apartment is a family of six (four kids!), and a young college girl and her boyfriend moved into the apartment above me. These new residents must be as pumped as I was to get a new apartment and begin a new chapter in their lives. However (here's the snobby part), I sorta sneered silently to myself as I was pulling away knowing that I was moving into a house. Suckers! They'll inherit my apartment with the springtail infestation. They'll have to pay rent and not build equity. They'll have to deal with neighbors on all sides and pray that they're not partying until 4 AM every night.

And then it hit me (much like the way the Grinch's heart grew 20-times larger that day), I have NO IDEA what events in their personal lives have led them to moving into humble old Crystal Lake Apartments in Swartz Creek. Their circumstances may have been infinitely worse than my ordeal.

Perhaps they lost their job and had to sell their house in the suburbs?
Perhaps they had a child with a disability and the medical bills forced them to move to save money?
Perhaps their company shut down the plant in their hometown and moved them across the country to an unfamiliar and strange place?

My circumstance was that I had a cheating whore (two-time...she admitted the first one) of an ex-wife that decided that the grass was greener without me in her life. When I pulled away tonight these thoughts hit me and I realized how thankful I am for the way my life has turned out. I only hope that the people that are moving into Crystal Lake when I'm off getting married to the true love of my life realize that they're life will get better...all it takes is time. Life is about empathy and trying your best to place yourself in someone else's shoes. If we could only strive to realize that we're not the only one in the world with problems...we'd have ourselves a kinder...and less snobby world to live in. Consider me one of the converted.

Dead on Arrival

2004-04-21T12:40:00.000-04:00

The ancient PC that occupied my desk finally bit the proverbial dust overnight. It must have been in its death throes during that time, because this morning it had absolutely zero power. I followed the requisite steps: checked the plug, the outlet, the chord...nuttin'. We figure it must be the power supply since this PC was purchased in December 1999-4.5 yrs ago or 153 in Computer Years. Needless to say, I saw this one coming a mile away, I just didn't know when. Good news? We've a kick ass Toshiba laptop which I'm using to type this entry, PLUS the likelihood of me getting a new PC is exponentially higher than it was this time yesterday. Still sucks though...installing all that software again will be a biaaatch!

Actual photo of my dead PC

Signs of Getting Older

2004-04-20T15:02:00.000-04:00

Sign #353,143: Current pop groups recording covers of songs you first listened to in high school.

What's old is new again. I'm waiting for parachute pants to come back in style. Hell, break-dancing is already back in-style...never thought I'd see that!

Case in point, No Doubt's cover of "It's My Life." Every time I've heard it on the radio I go nuts since I KNEW that song sounded familiar. Heard the original version today from Brit new-wave group "Talk Talk." Originally released in 1984 and the title track from their first album. (Old man voice): "I wonda' how many 'dem young whippasnappa's knew dat useless triv'ya?!"

Caffeine Addiction Wars

2004-04-20T09:12:00.001-04:00

I came to the realization the other day that I drink absolutely TOO MUCH pop. We're talking 4-5 12 oz cans of Diet Pepsi, Coke, (<--insert favorite diet soda here-->) per day. Let's do some basic math.

5 * 12 oz = 60 oz = 4 oz short of a 2 liter = holy crap!

(Keanu Reeves voice)" Whoa!"

Yeah, it's gotten a bit out of hand. Therefore, I Matthew Malone, declare myself to be pop free for the last 36 hours! It's sorta like a morbid experience to see if my body really has become addicted to caffeine after all these years. The urge to drink a pop last night was VERY intense. Laurie and I were working on some numbers stuff for our future mortgage, which requires caffeine to concentrate obviously. MAN was I dying for a Pepsi! The Pepsi marketers would be so pleased to hear me admit that I almost tore into the fridge at warp speed to down one of their friggin' cans. I fought the urge, but became somewhat irritable for a while...typical side-effect I hear. I don't feel that unusual this morning though. The water from the cooler has satiated me for now, but Robbie will undoubtedly bust out his 2-liter of Dr. Pepper later, which will tempt me to hit the vending machine. Must....hold...out...for....no good reason (Why am I doing this to myself again??). Wish me luck!

The EdgeMaster.

2004-04-19T08:02:00.001-04:00

Holy Crap! It was 87 degrees in Canton this weekend. And man did it feel gooooood. It was one of those typical spring cleaning sorta weekends. Windows were washed, floors were swept, lawns were edged. One of Laurie's neighbors walked by as he saw me busting my ass with a hoe (<--insert hooker joke here). He wondered if I was interested in using his power edger, which I must admit, kick ass. Nothing like running a steel saw directly into concrete to shower the neighborhood with sparks. I shrugged and said, "Nah, this is good exercise." As he walked away I silently cursed myself for not being as friendly a neighbor as he was to me. He then walks by a second time and asks again. I grudgingly refused him a second time even though I was only about 2 feet further down the sidewalk using manual labor. Then 5 minutes later he comes walking up with a roll of extension cord and the edger and says, "Here...welcome to the neighborhood." I sighed half out of embarrassment, half out of exhaustion, and relented to using his edger. Hundred of sparks later and the lawn is looking MUCH better. My ascension as EgdeMaster is complete...all neighbors shall bow before ME! (except for the dude across the street with a friggin' golf course lawn).

Taxes...What the Hell are Those???

2004-04-15T13:11:00.001-04:00

Well, tonight I'll officially be ordained as one of those lame idiots that you see on TV dropping off their taxes at some cramped drive-through at the local post office. I have the pleasure of doing that tonight since I've procrastinated my living ass off. BUT, I finished my taxes months ago, I just haven't mailed them in yet. I sincerely hope I'm interviewed by one of those TV reporters that realize they got the shit assignment of the night...asking people about why they're late while bathing in car and SUV exhaust for from 6 PM to midnight. They could tape the report and repeat it next year and it'd be exactly the friggin' same! It's a pet peeve of mine...paying taxes on April 15th is NOT NEWS! Unless someone starting going postal at 11:58 PM when they realized they weren't going to make it to the post office...then the fights would begin and the story would undoubtedly be the lead story the next morning. "If it bleeds it leads"...no truer words concerning local news have ever been spoken. Trust me...it's amplified with the Detroit stations. You'd think all we do down here is mow people down with our Glocks.

Puppy Dog Tails.

2004-03-30T08:29:00.001-05:00

Driving to work this morning, I was stopped behind a Bonneville as kids happily, yet grudgingly hopped aboard their school bus. Knowing that I had nothing to do but stare catatonically at the car in front of me, I caught a glimpse of something moving. Almost like a fur-covered periscope, a black lab puppy's tail went left-right-left-right across the backseat to determine what was happening on both sides of the car. Had to admit it made me smile pretty wide to see that puppy playfully skimming across the backseat. The only thing that would've completed the picture would've been a little bark or a his head hanging out the window with a tongue flapping in the breeze.

Yeah...I DO need a dog...if you couldn't tell!

Looooooooong day...

2004-03-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

Holy crap am I sick of being in front of my computer today. The Bravada is in the shop waiting to be looked at for a potential drivetrain problemo. What really sucks is that I dropped it off yesterday afternoon and they didn't look at it ONCE today! Grrrrrrrr. The result is that Laurie was kind enough to drop me off at work at 6:30 AM and it's now 5:30 PM...a little longer work day than I'm accustomed to having. Tomorrow will be the same thing though. Good thing is no one found my debit card that I left on the seat of the Bravada. Just in case, I had to check to see if my checking account was depleted with Best Buy or Circuit City purchases...no such items appeared thank God!

The St. Patty's 5K Race...

2004-03-22T15:51:00.001-05:00

Well, after 13 weeks of training during the coldest months of the year, running on ice-covered sidewalks and jumping mountainous curb-side snowbanks...I decided to not go for it at the Bay City 5K yesterday because of the....weather!(?)You're thinking, "WTF Matt???" I'll have you know that yesterday morning in the Ruth Metropolitan area in the Thumb of Michigan, the temp was 24 degrees with a incessant wind of 30-35MPH w/gusts to 45MPH AND snow-covered streets. Not exactly my ideal running scenario. However, they always say to "add 20 degrees" when running, so that would mean 50 degree "apparent" temperature to the runner.

Laurie and I decided to suck it up and head over to Bay City. The snow evaporated and the sun burst through about 1/4 of the way there. We clustered onto the bus at the end of the race course in downtown. The bus was a little crowded...perhaps 50+ excited, but clean smelling runners ready to brave the morning wind. Laurie's sister, speaking from experience, said that catching the bus before the race was much better than afterwards...when you're holding onto an overhead bar with a 55 year-old's hairy back and armpits jammed into your left nostril. We took her advice.

The run itself wasn't all that bad. Laurie hauled ass and we crossed the finish line together with a 30:38 5K (3.1 mile) time (9:52 minute mile pace). Laurie was bummed since we've trained for a while and we SWEAR we ran faster than a 30-minute 5K. However, Laurie still came in at 13th out of 45 women in her age group...not bad! Don't even ask where I fell in the hierarchy. Let's just say that the head of my age group ran a 17:15 5K...good gawd! You wouldn't believe the amount of kids under 10 years old in the race. There was one proud father that every half-mile or so would sprint waaaaay up ahead of us to crouch down and take pictures of his young son cruising down the street. That little guy had his own cheering section at the finish line as well. He was rockin' the course hard!

Tomorrow we start training for the Crim 10-mile by using the half-marathon training section of our book. I hear Crim is mostly endurance though. Tell that to the freakin' Kenyans that run it averaging a 4:45 minute mile. I checked out the Kenyan's hauling ass through my neighborhood several years ago...they were running around 14 MPH at the time. I challenge anyone reading this blog to even attempt to run 14 MPH. If you do...I'll need video proof of your run and hospital admission form.

Urban snowflakes...

2004-03-19T07:00:00.001-05:00

I've determined that I truly live in the Metro Detroit region. On my drive to work this morning I noticed that large snowflakes were falling, and I thought, "Wow...Winter's hanging on isn't it?" I then realized that the large "snowflakes" were styrofoam peanuts slowly floating out of the garbage truck two cars up from me.

I'm never sick!

2004-03-16T06:32:00.000-05:00

Grrrr...I must be one of those rare people that hates to be sick, but also hates to stay home from work since I love my job. In essence, it doubly sucks when I'm feeling shitty. Think I came down with the crud that Alex brought back from the Monster Truck show (*cue redneck jokes*) on Saturday. It only hit him for 24-hours, so hopefully I'll be in the same boat. In fact, spreading my germs on the keyboard is probably not helping the rest of the fam...so I'm signing off for now...until tomorrow my amigos!

House hunting...

2004-03-10T10:45:00.001-05:00

Wow...urban sprawl has hit Livingston County puuurty hard, and thankfully it gives us more options for housing! ;-) Laurie and I drove around Brighton last night to peruse the available homes, and there are a ton to choose from. Brighton is a strange mix of housing ages. It's apparent that it used to be a sleepy little town until I-96 and Metro Detroit starting infringing on its borders. You can drive near the heart of the City and find older neighborhoods composed of small ranch-style homes built in the 50's and 60's and then drive 5 minutes to a new neighborhood on Brighton Lake with "one miiiiiillion dollar" (Austin Powers voice) homes. The juxtapositioning of these homes couldn't be more ironic. Look out of your Master Bedroom overlooking the two-tiered deck and garden tub to the dramatic vista of a double-wide trailer! It sorta boggles the mind.

One great looking house (shown above) that we found online had high potential. The backyard had a nice row of tall pine trees with hammock possibilities. We then drove up to it and noticed that in the backyard across a small field 100 yards wide was the Brighton Cement Plant and a gravel parking lot littered with front loaders, dump trucks, etc. Not exactly the sights or sounds I'd like to wake up to every morning.

However, the silver lining was that the neighborhood was much larger than that one street abutting an industrial site. The entrance led into a very nice open space area complete with picnic pavilion and playscape. One home that we really found attractive sat on a corner lot near the playground (above). The fenceless backyard didn't ease Laurie's mind when we saw the neighbor's Doberman roaming free. As an enormous bonus, the house is perhaps 2 minutes from the Huron Meadows Metropark, which includes a golf course and undeveloped lake and paddle boats. We obviously checked out that park last year as you can tell.

The Great House Search continues...

The Sauna...

2004-03-08T14:57:00.000-05:00

Damn...it is SO hot in my office today! Our office's heat is controlled by a thermostat in another room. The one in our office is for decorative purposes only. Bottom line: it's about 80 degrees in herrrrre. Not bad...if you're on the beach. Who knows, maybe I'm onto some new fangled weight-loss program? I'm wondering why I've had to knock my belt up a notch per week lately.

GISP...that sounds nice.

2004-03-04T14:56:00.001-05:00

After working my tail off for a month to send in the appropriate forms (which was about as difficult as pulling together my Thesis), I received my letter from the GIS Certification Institute (GISCI) congratulating me on becoming a certified Geographic Information Systems Professional, or GISP!

The personal pride in me instantly had to jump to their site to see if I "made it first" to receive this honor. According to their website listing, I'm one of only three GISPs in Michigan and about 126 nationwide. My personal goal was to become one of the first in Genesee County or the State of Michigan. Met the first goal hands-down, but technically speaking I'm in a 3-way tie for first in the State of Michigan! Yesssssss! Sorry...little pumped about it, but it feels great to be recognized in my field as a professional. Especially after working with GIS for almost 10 years. I think Chris Rock said it best: "Ya'll betta reckaniiiize!"

"Look Ma! Big Words!"

2004-03-04T11:12:00.001-05:00

One thing I've always loved about my relationship with Laurie is that wonderful son of hers...Alex. It's awesome to watch him grow up and learn new things about the world around him. I'm continuously impressed by his penchant (<--need to teach him that one) for learning new words and using them correctly. Nevermind the fact that I'm "into" words and grammar, etc. Yes, I'm that boring (yet she loves me anyway!).

I thought I'd drop a blog entry about some of his word "discoveries" from the past few months. Word discoveries in bold.

July 2003-Age 4. Alex was sitting as Laurie's parent's house looking at Laurie's new watch. She had just recently lost (or so she thought) her old watch and she bought a near identical replacement. Alex picks up the two watches and show them to his Mom and says, "Look Momma...see the resemblance?"

January 2004-Age 4.4. During the rambunctious evening bathtime, Alex was fiercely pushing away the bubbles from the Hulk (tm) bubble bath and he exclaimed, "Look Matt....I'm avoiding them!"

February 2004-Age 4.5. In the middle of an intense session of playing with Spiderman and Star Wars action figures, Alex built a small tightrope for his characters to walk across. I asked him if the rope would hold Spiderman, and he said, "Yep! See...it's stabilized!" I actually had to have him repeat that to ensure that I heard him correctly!

I'm sure this list will grow muuuuuuuch longer in the future, so be on the lookout for more entries blabbing about how great this little guy is! Did I also mention that he's smart and adorable? (here's the evidence).

Tax Deduct Those Pounds Away!

2004-03-02T11:06:00.000-05:00

Interesting IRS-info of the day (please stop reading now cuz this could quickly become very uninteresting). In 2002 the IRS classified obesity as a disease, thus allowing certain obesity-related items to become tax-deductible.
Here's how it worketh:

You must be clinically diagnosed as obese

Your total obesity-related expenses must exceed 7.5% of your gross annual income
Expenses such as gyms and food don't count towards the total

Amazingly...this means that you can write-off entire medical procedures (that aren't covered by insurance) such as gastric by-pass, stomach "stapling", Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, nutritional specialist counseling, etc. Most stomach operations costs around $25,000, so you could get one hell of a write-off.

Anywho...just thought that was an interesting article...if only I could write off the cost of Doritos I'd be all set (and rich).

Bend Over and Take It!

2004-02-27T10:56:00.000-05:00

Grrrrr....software companies...they LOVE to rip you off with annual maintenance fees. Recently received our annual support quote for our GIS software, and it tips the scales at almost $13,000! I find it ironic that you pay top dollar for a piece of software, and you practically re-pay that same amount on an annual basis for the entitlement of upgrades and tech support. I know, I know...it's cheaper than buying a new upgrade off the shelf when it comes out during the year, but that doesn't happen often enough. You can go an entire year with zero upgrades from a software vendor, yet they fail to refund any of the fee. We pay all that cash for tech support basically. Not to mention, Robbie and I barely need tech support cuz were so...damn...GOOD! ;-)

/sorry...our horns need tootin' ocassionally...

Fat Chicks Need Not Apply (in the world of music apparently)!

2004-02-26T21:26:00.001-05:00

Hehehe...the subject line got your attention didn't it? Nah, not trying to be controversial. In fact, I've been thinking about writing something about this for a long time. Well, ever since I've been listening to country music (and pop for that matter). Let me also add to all you haytas out there...I'm NOT fat prejudice in the slightest. And as you'll notice from my rant below, I'm arguing that weight shouldn't make any friggin' difference at all if you're truly talented.
Basically, I'm convinced that in recent years that the most important factor in promoting female musical acts (solo or band) is linked to how hot the woman looks. The critical factor of talent and/or singing ability seems to play second fiddle to how slutty the star-of-the-week can get on stage or in their video.

Matt's Dossier of Zero Talent yet Hot (not necessarily in my opinion) Female Artists

Jessica Simpson - Only one on the list with a semi-decent voice. Yet you'd think the only talent she can offer the planet is her chest

Britney Spears - The woman lip-syncs 90% of her songs when performing live (my estimate). Main topic of discussion with her focuses on if she received breast implants or her glorious stomping of the institution of marriage with that dude from Seinfeld. ;-)
Hillary Duff - HO-LY CRAP this girl cannot sing worth a tinker-shit! Again...the interest basically focuses on her pre-pubescent chest. Her new video, replete with a prance through the pouring rain with a white T-shirt on, about made me gag when it premiered today on MTV. We're not in mouseketeer land anymore...

The obvious pop-icons aside, the country music scene seems addicted to this focus on appearance as well. Name the one country singer that most men lust after...yeah yeah...of COURSE it's Shania Twain. If I were Randy Jackson, I would "not be feeeeeling it..." when it comes to her voice. It's passable...BUT her prancing around on the beach is what sells albums. If you ever come across one of her CDs, make sure you check out the liner notes, which are basically a redneck's Maxim photo shoot. Additional culprits are Faith Hill (better voice) and Kelly Coffey. There are always exceptions to the norm, such as Martina McBride, who can sing her @$$ off as well as sell posters of herself.

My challenge to the music industry is this: Provide us with a homely, ratty-haired, woman that will blow us away musically. Promote her music as aggressively as Shania Twain and examine the results. Thankfully, this emphasis on looks appears to be a relatively recent phenomenon...at least in country music. Wynonna Judd has an awesome voice and she's not a perky 28-year old. Leann Rimes' voice made her a star...but she's morphing into the killer double-whammy of vocal talent and looks.

I could blabber on forever about this topic. Let's just say that I'm glad that the Metal genre doesn't care about looks...or there would be no Metal music at all.

I've never taken drugs in my life....

2004-02-26T10:31:00.001-05:00

BUT...if I had...I imagine it would look a bit like the "Boohbahs" on PBS. The psychedelic colors, imagery, and motion provide you the same rush as a bad acid trip. And think...this is the show that gets kids to exercise. The kids can aerobicize while the parents can have LSD flashbacks...its wholesome family fun!

"Wonder Boobpah-powers ACTIVATE!"

You don't look "hip" in Abercrombie...

2004-02-25T16:28:00.000-05:00

I was appalled for my "generation" today...Generation X (which, for the record, is a lame descriptor), via a brief MTV viewing experience. Now, I know that people are supposed to dress however they damn well please, but when you're in your low-to-mid 30's, dressing like a 21-year old looks idiotic. Case in point: John Norris, the MTV Movie Guru. He was hosting the "MTV News Break" today wearing a headband and PUMA-jacket that made him look like a Liberace-worshiping-wanna-be-breakdancer. I sighed and thought, "Dude...ever hear of the term "age appropriate?! You're NOT it!" I might dress crappily by teenage standards, but I was 16 almost 15 years ago (Holy shit I'm old). Not to mention I could barely afford Abercrombie even with my non-burger flipping "real" job. To all the kids that are decked out in American Eagle and A&F...have your fashion demands say thank you to your parents' second mortgage.

"Don't feel like writing? Here's a topic: Matt's commute...discuss!"

2004-02-18T23:03:00.000-05:00

If people like reading this blog...please inform me....cuz some nights I definitely do not feel like writing a single thought. I imagine that those who know me might find this blog more (or less) interesting to see my "inner thoughts," but they're not necessarily that. I basically have dozens of topics floating around in my head simultaneously, all of which I'd like to pour out at once. However, I can't type all night.

What is on my mind right now??? Dangerous question, because as my friend Tom used to say, "Matt, your train of thought ocassionally jumps the tracks." He knew me all too well.

Actually, I'm currently focusing on the shitty weather we're supposed to get tomorrow night around Flint-town. You'd be surprised how I went from not caring less about "the commute" until I became a card-carrying commuter. On average, my trip from Canton to Grand Blanc takes about 60 minutes travelling around 75-77MPH (hope State cops don't read this). However, if I leave too late in the morning, the traffic starts to suck ass (<---technical commuting term), so I take the surface roads down to Ann Arbor which adds 5 minutes to my time. I've discovered that my mornings start out brighter when I listen to the Drew & Mike show on WRIF...they're crass, but intellectual at the same time. People that listen to them would likely state that intellectualism is not their strong suit. However, just because their show typically revolves around "dick-n-fart" jokes (like many Hollywood movies), that does not predispose them as Rednecks or trailer trash. I've always had a theory that you can judge someone's intelligence based upon the size of their vocabulary and how they use those words in daily conversation. Drew has a huge vocabulary which likely out guns most of his listening audience...so I'm thinking he's a closet intellectual disguised as a shock jock.

On the commute home, I typically go full-bore towards the intellectual route by tuning into National Public Radio. They blow away network news any day of the week. Unfortunately, it's difficult to de-stress after a nasty day at work whilst listening to reports about ethnic cleansing in the Congo or daily gun battles in the slum neighborhoods of Rio de Janero (tonight's topic).
To sum up my commute..shock jocks in the morning, professorial jocks at night...it's good to balance the day with intellectually opposite bookends.

The Assault on the Junk Room: Volume 1

2004-02-15T22:28:00.000-05:00

Laurie and I decided to tackle the dreaded Junk Room today...and it was messy, sweaty, and dusty...but we survived unscathed. :-) She'll probably read this blog so I won't be too harsh on the junk room or say anything she hasn't said already...but in a nutshell, the Junk Room was the one bedroom in the house where stuff just tended to "go" per se. It contained the assorted trinkets, curtains, Precious Moments boxes (which are apparently much more valuable to have if you Ebay them...we'll see about that!), tax returns from 1989 (safely out of audit range methinks), old textbooks, etc, etc. When all was said and done we successfully created several large bags o' garbage to kick to the curb for the trash man to biatch about tomorrow morning. He'll probably think we threw everything in the house away simultaneously. ;-) Now only one Junk Room remains, but it's not as bad as Junk Room #1. We'll be able to knock that one down in no time flat.

One great thing about cleaning (yes, there are silver linings...albeit a bit dusty at first) is that we had Alex as the little helper bee today. He's always eager to please and help us out, which is one of his best traits. Not that cartoons weren't appealing or anything today, but sometimes he just likes to be around us no matter what we're doing.

Side note: Speaking of TV, Alex now knows how to use the remote control...which means his ascension to the King of the Remote Control has begun at age 4 1/2. The parental channel locking control will take place shortly...no Ludacris or South Park just yet.

Alex was definitely a trooper today. Even if we were simply pouring over frayed documents from work, school, or Laurie's old driver's licenses. The latter of which Alex exclaimed, "Look...there's two Mommy cards!"...cutie.

On another tangent (which I so often do in this blog), Laurie's currently downstairs expending the last of her energy on her 45 minute run as required by The Running Book. I ran over 5.5 miles today as part of the "Endurance" run that's required on Sundays. Holy crap...I ran for 55 minutes today without music, in 20 degree weather on unstable, icy sidewalks. That sound you're hearing now is me straining my arm to pat myself on the back. (or kiss my own ass...I'm not picky). Actually, even running at a slow pace (10 min miles I estimate) I still covered some serious ground.

Yours in future knee replacement agony...

-MapGeek

Lazy Saturday...except for the house hunting again.

2004-02-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning with one thing in mind...that we do nothing at all! Mission accomplished. Actually, jumped in the salt-colored Bravada and trounced over to the Brighton area to check out homes. Many of them ranged from "okay" to "holy shizznit!" However, the ones in the latter category are most definitely out of the target price range. One thing about the 'hoods that stood out were that the power lines and other utilities were buried, and the home setbacks were rather large. This gave the "illusion" of open space that made the entire sub more aesthetically pleasing. Odd thing about these beautiful new subs is this:

Has anyone ever heard of a frigging sidewalk???

I mean damn people...does everyone have a secret desire to have their children play in the road inviting disaster? Yeah, I know that they need to be maintained by the homeowner or City, etc, etc., but, I'd pay for a nice sidewalk if it meant Alex could practice riding his bike in relative safety. That's worth more than anything.

/sidewalk rant off

Many of the homes we looked at were approximately 40 mins (estimated) from my office, and about the same for Laurie. Not bad. It seems like we're both loving the idea of being near Kensington Metropark...which still ranks as one of the most beautiful parks I've ever visited. It's not coincidence that every house we've looked at to date has been in a 5 mile diameter centered on the "Golden Circle" of the US23/I-96 interchange. The Golden Circle is also about 10 minutes from Kensington in any direction..also not a coincidence. Downtown Brighton seems pretty nice, but it's not as "quaint" as downtown Milford. My opinion of downtown Brighton is that's it's not as great as the pundits claim. Milford blows it away in many respects. In fact, one thing about Milford that's burned in my brain is the woman that lives there telling the two of us, "You know what the problem with Milford is? We have too many parades!" Laurie and I were both kind of incredulous thinking..."And this is bad...how??" Alex would SO love to see a parade every now and then, so Milford is high up on the list.

I could babble about house hunting for page after page, so I'll close for now and try to get my requisite 20-minute run in on the treadmill. Tomorrow is the biatch day of the week...50-55 minutes for me...urgh!

Busy as a mofo...

2004-02-12T11:31:00.000-05:00

Holy crud! Work has been pretty intense these past couple of weeks. The plotter is non-stop kicking out our beautiful maps for the masses. :-) The desk has been suffocated with piles of memos and unread magazines for weeks now...sooner or later it will collapse. I'm getting near the critical mass of clutter in the office. When it gets to a certain point where I can't, for example, find my chair...something has to change.

And it's not just work that's busy! Getting ready for Valentine's Day has taken a lot of time as well (for those of you that know my present to Laurie...she does not know....yet). I'm thinking she'll like her present and hopefully I'll get an "A" for originality. I'll spill what the actual gift is sometime tomorrow and then update the site on Saturday to tell the world if she liked it or not.

BTW, I shouldn't biatch about being busy...because "everyone's busy." 'Tis true...I can't name one person that could state lackadaisically, "I have absolutely nothing going on!" Our society's pace is so frenetic that it's tiresome to even think about it. Perhaps we should revisit the non-40-hour work week idea again. I seem to recall that most European countries have 35-hour work weeks (or less). Germany works four 12-hour days and has 3 days off in many cities. That schedule has my vote!

One other thing...American Idol...my guilty TV pleasure...

PEACE OUT!

Two subjects (choose one): DC Flight Security or "Why-the-FBI-Now-Monitors-My-Blog"

2004-02-11T00:29:00.000-05:00

Urgh...getting very late, but at least I don't have to wake up at 5:30 AM tomorrow morning. My honey is in D.C. after a successful flight which she said had VERY little security for a DC-bound flight. In fact, in all the times I've flown since Sept. 11 (only 5 times really) I had to show my driver's license and boarding pass to even get on the plane. Laurie said she just "breezed right through." Very unusual for a DC flight, considering when I was in Minneapolis for a layover a few years ago there were military guards with sub-machine guns standing next to all DC flight gates. Kinda scary...

Well kids, I better get to bed and you'll see why I was up so late in just a couple of days! :-) I'm a big wussy for whining about missing my honey whenever she's gone but here goes...I MISS MY HONEY!!! There...I feel much better now....off to bed....zzzzzzzzz

Leaving on a jet plane...

2004-02-10T07:56:00.001-05:00

Laurie's leaving tonight to head on out to D.C. for a work-related meeting. I'm so incredibly proud of her (and she knows this...and she'll likely be reading this as well!) for being named to a committee that sets standards for literally the rest of the auto industry. She's everything I've always looked for in a woman...she's beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, and is a great mother to the little Jedi (Alex).

Speaking of Jedi...the other day they were fighting with lightsabers...which is almost a daily occurrence since I've been around to corrupt him with geeky Star Wars items. The phone rings and he runs to answer it. Instead of his normal, "Who is it?" he states, "Hello, this is a Jedi speaking." Unfortunately for his Mom...she always has to play the Dark Jedi pictured here. Which means she is summarily chopped in half at the end of the battle.

Alex has more personality at age 4 1/2 than most adults...I can't wait to see him win his Oscar for Best Dramatic Performance someday. Perhaps for Star Wars Episode 12? :-)

Checking in....

2004-02-09T07:43:00.000-05:00

Not much time to write this morning...methinks this week will be very busy at work. Lots of stuff going on at home too with regards to home hunting. Looked around some subs in the Brighton area this weekend, many of which seemed semi-reasonably priced. However, the one that was sweeeeeet cost $399K...umm...have to pass on that one. Well, it did have a walkout to a small pond PLUS a large lake across the street. As I've said a million times before, all I want is a house where I can set up a kick ass surround sound system. That's it. One room needs to be conducive to a massive subwoofer and satellite speakers in all corners. Needs a 2-gar attached garage as well...and 2 full-baths...and a basement cuz tornadoes suck (literally).

More later...

Voting Online--Democracy in your pajamas....

2004-02-05T23:44:00.000-05:00

As you can tell by the banner, I'm a registered Democrat...you have to be to even vote in the Democratic Caucus. Please don't hate me for being a Democrat in a sea of Republicans...call it the legacy of a being a son of a GM Shop Hound. I think I'm almost required to be a Democrat for that fact alone. You can comment about how you hate tax-and-spend, tree-hugging, big government, commie liberals now...or you could just wait until future posts...your choice!

Politics aside, I never thought I'd actually vote in a "real" election online until tonight. About a week ago on NPR I first heard about the ability to register for Michigan's Democratic Caucus online, which is only one of a few in the country using the Net. Naturally, since I'm a huge geek, I decided that was the way to go. Signed up a week ago and the Michigan Democratic Party sent me the ballot this afternoon with a UserID and PIN number to enter on a secure site. There it was in all its glory...the Democratic candidates lined up online in an orderly list as if they were a CNN poll inquiring about the Super Bowl's best commercials (we all know what you liked best about the Super Bowl...TIVO freaks).

Sidenote: I'm already sick of listening to all the rants about online security not being up to snuff for elections. The security protocols on these sites likely blow away the encryption found in say, Abercrombie's online catalog site. I've noticed that people tend to fear technology when they do not understand it fully (or partially!). It literally pushes them away to the point of hostility. You can't mention doing anything online without someone (uninformed) chiming in about "teen hackers" getting in to deface the site; steal your identity; ad nauseum. Online voting may be taking the baby steps of its infancy now, but it is the wave of the future...get used to it.

That rant about technology illiterates aside, it was intriguing yet somewhat disturbing to know that one can now click on a candidate, hit "Submit" (ironic choice of words) and be done with it. I've listened to the pros and cons concerning the ease of this process, and I'm convinced that it will obviously help voter turnout, but at what cost? Voter apathy is off the charts, and most voters are almost completely uninformed about the candidate for which they are voting. Sitting in your pajamas at 11 PM clicking on a button almost makes it TOO easy to become the stereotypically uninformed voter...just click a box, submit, and head to bed. Then again, many people decide who they're voting for while standing in line at the polls...so I guess it all evens out in the end.

The only other bonus is that there are no hanging chads cluttering up the floor in the bedroom...

Payday and Subway

2004-02-05T12:37:00.001-05:00

Direct deposit is the most convenient thing ever invented. I can lazily sit back and check my bank account online at random to see if the $$$ has been deposited. Unfortunately, I have $4.00 to my name at this point, so it appears as though Subway is out of the question!

It still cracks me up to see people lining up at Subway for the "healthy" bacon and turkey wraps to avoid those evil, evil carbohydrates. My Momma always told me, "If it sound too good to be true...it probably is..." C'mon, having an Atkins diet where you can eat all the fattening foods under the sun sounds absolutely horrible! Who would ever want to eat hamburgers, steak, chips, etc, every day as long as those horrendous carbs are avoided? Sarcasm? Just a little!

/Atkins rant off

The kids are here! The kids are here!

2004-02-03T10:42:00.002-05:00

Please forgive the Michael Jackson subject line...hehehe. Readers of this journal will soon realize that I tend to write things with as much tact as I do whilst speaking. Aaaaaaaanyway...90+ kids from the elementary school are here to discover the wonder that is local Township government. Actually, it's great to hear how excited they are when walking around witnessing government at work. I've heard a lot of "Whoa" and "Coooool" comments coming from outside my door. Then again...when I was in elementary school I wouldn't care if my field trip was to the local sewage treatment plant. (hehe..had a field trip to a landfill in one of my Geology classes at Western).

Thank you for waiting...your Martian proctological exam will begin momentarily....

2004-02-03T10:42:00.001-05:00

Opportunity...the ultimate RV car...

Weather blows...literally

2004-02-03T00:48:00.000-05:00

Man...I'm glad that I'm in my apartment tonight due to the freezing rain we're supposed to get tomorrow morning. I typically drive an hour to work from down in Metro Detroit, but when the weather's bad I chill at my apartment (for the next two months of the lease at least). Then I get to move in with my AWESOME, GORGEOUS fiance (yes...she's an IT geek...she'll read the blog :-) sometime in the next few months. Until then, I just get to accelerate to 50 MPH heading into Grand Blanc...slam on the brakes...and coast for a mile or two into the parking lot at work. And there was much rejoicing...

Missing my fiance BIG TIME...can't wait until tomorrow!

Into a brave new world....or one where I shouldn't have time to create a blog...

2004-02-03T00:28:00.000-05:00

And so it begins...I've been thinking about writing a blog for some time now. Ever since my friend Hywell took the bold step of registering his own first name as his blog address (www.hywell.org), I've been interested in blogs. I'm thinking that I must have too much time on my hands to actually eek out a minute or two to type in this blog, but I'm guessing it will be "fascinating" (<---relative term) to look back at my random musings and babblings months from now. The main advantage for me is that I can type faster than I can talk...and must more legibly than that chicken-scratch crap that I deem handwriting. I've always felt it was a bit ironic that someone would put their secret "diary" live on the web for public consumption to anyone that browses on in...much more removed from my Sis's diary with the little key that I absconded with at age 10...hehe..she still hates me for that. Well, besides the time I took her goldfish out to play with it!

Me: (innocently): Sis..why is your fish not "playing" with me anymore?"
Sis: (speaking in acronyms before her time): OMFG...WTF?!?!?!!!!111U!!! (paraphrased and embellished just a bit)

Look for me to throw out random crap at this blog in the future...it could be lame....it could be funny...it could be something you could absolutely, 1,000,000% care less about....but I'll try to drop some thoughts on here once in a blue moon.